Never Giving Up On You
by fannypants
Summary: A little Gene/Jim friendship fic. Instrospective piece- Jim's feelings as he and Gene have one of their cruellest arguments yet. //I'll never, ever give up on you... Aniki...//


Never Giving Up On You  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Outlaw Star. Nope. Never have, never will.  
  
  
A little Jimmy introspective piece during another one of his fights with Gene. Gene/Jim friendship ficcie, kinda sad.  
  
  
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Gene?  
  
  
Can you hear me? Do you ever hear me when I speak to you? Do I ever hear you?  
  
  
I hate the way you're looking at me. It's the way you look at your enemies, like a bug that needs to be squashed. It hurts, because I know I'm glaring at you in the same way, and speaking the same hateful words, over and over, the same that we always speak, each tearing a deeper tear in my mental defenses, in my heart.  
  
  
I'm sorry, Aniki. It's my fault. It's always my fault, I suppose... you always say it's my fault. Always my fault. I'm an easy scapegoat, I s'pose, cos I'm a lot younger than he is. I'm a lot younger than everyone here. But at least they treat me with respect- Aisha and Melfina are like best friends to me. Suzuka always listens to me. Do you envy me, Gene Starwind? Are you jealous? While we grow closer and closer together as a unit, as a *team*, you retract from us.   
  
  
Do you honestly believe that your life is harder than mine? It's not.  
  
  
Do you hear me, Gene, my Aniki, my friend? You don't have it any better than I do. I have it a lot worse. Your parents loved you- your mother is stil alive, still caring about you, still there.   
  
My mom died when I was younger. My dad has no time for me, ever, because I remind him of her. And then I met you.  
  
  
You took me in, you looked after me, even though you weren't much more than a kid yourself. Gradually, I went from being your devotee, to your friend, and finally, your partner. It was you and me against the world, and I think you loved it that way. I did too. I miss those days...  
  
  
But then we met Hilda, and then Melfina, and our lives, which had once been almost a semblance of normal, was pulled up in a whirlwind of fear and hate. We're now outlaws, Gene, people who live by the rules of freedom.   
  
  
Are you listening to me? I hope you are.  
  
  
Do you realise that I'm in as much trouble as you are? That my bounty is almost as high as yours? That I'm running, Gene, as fast as you are, and that I'm scared? Because I'm not a child anymore, Gene, and I understand. I understand why you're shouting, why you're upset. I'm so sorry.  
  
  
I'm sorry for everything, and for nothing, Aniki. I care about you, for better, for worse, and you know I'm never gonna stop watching out for you. You'd probably be dead if it weren't for me. But I wouldn't have i any other way.  
  
  
I can see your fist clenching there, 'Niki. Did my words about you being a lecherous alcoholic jerk hit a bit too close to home? Well, it's true. But it never used to be. Oh, I see it swinging now. Do you realise that it's the first time you've ever hit me? As I tumble to the ground, giving up on consciousness, I hope you understand.   
  
  
You can hit, scream at me, batter me and break me, but I'll never give up on you. Because I can still remember the little boy and the teenager who promised to be friends forever. To never give up on each other. Because we're family.   
  
  
I'll never, ever give up on you.  
  
  
Aniki.  
  
  
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As Jim tumbled to the ground, boneless and unconscious, Gene began to shake, his eyes wide, as he dropped to his knees beside his partner's body.  
  
  
"Jim," He whispered, "Stop mucking around. I shouldn't've hit you, I know. I'm sorry, alright? Get up. Wake up, now."  
  
  
"What the hell are you *doing*, Gene?!" Aisha hissed, her fangs glinting menacingly.  
  
  
"Didn't think you were the type to hit children." Was Suzuka's quiet comment.  
  
  
"Especially someone who's done as much for you as Jim has." Melfina said, her brown eyes searching Gene's soul, "Do you think you would survive for ten minutes as an outlaw without him, Gene? Because I know that without Jim's help, I won't find the answers I need." She turned, and walked out of the room. Suzuka and Aisha followed, the Ctarl-Ctarl muttering about 'letting the child-beating bastard have it at the next full moon'.   
  
  
Gene felt the muscles in his body slacken and tears run from his eyes as he looked down at his partner, a purple bruise welling up across his forehead. He reached out to touch, his hand shaking. He'd struck Jim, something he'd promised himself he would never do.  
  
  
"I'm so sorry," He whispered, "It's all my fault..." He felt the anger and shame slip through him and he pulled Jim into his lap, pulling him close and holding him tightly. 'it's all my fault...' He sobbed out his cares to the caring, soothing air. 'so sorry...'  
  
  
Jim's eyes flickered open. "It's okay, 'Niki," He said softly, raising weak arms to wrap around his older friend, "I'll never, ever give up on you, you big jerk."  
  
  
"I'm so sorry..." Gene whispered, his blue eyes softening as he looked at his partner, who was crying with him now, his face buried into Gene's shoulder, his own thin little shoulders shaking.   
  
  
//It's all my fault... I'm so sorry....//  
  
  
I'll never, ever give up on you...  
  
  
//....Aniki... //  
  
  
  
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End! ::grin:: That was pointless, but strangely sad to write. I hope you enjoyed! Please don't forget to review! Byeeeeeeee!  
  
-Nefthoron 


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